Letโs be realโfeedback can be a nerve-wracking experience.
Whether youโre the one giving or receiving it, the whole process can feel uncomfortable and stressful. In fact, psychologist Tessa Westโs research shows that just knowing feedback is coming can spike anxiety levels. No wonder so many of us tense up at the mere mention of it!
But hereโs the thing: Feedback doesnโt have to be stressful. In fact, when done right, it can be one of the most powerful tools for growthโboth for you and your team.
Why Feedback Can Feel So Awkward
One reason feedback feels so uncomfortable is that we tend to tiptoe around it.
In a culture that values politeness and niceness, we sometimes sugarcoat feedback to avoid conflict. This, unfortunately, waters down the message and blocks any real opportunity for growth or improvement.
But it doesn’t have to be that way.
The Value of Asking
Instead of waiting for feedback and bracing yourself for the worst, what if you asked for it?
Research suggests that by switching from giving feedback to asking for it, organisations can tilt their culture towards continuous improvement. And it can reduce our anxiety too.
When you take the initiative and ask for feedback, you shift the power dynamic. It becomes less about waiting for criticism and more about taking charge of your own growth. Suddenly, youโre in control of the conversation, and that makes it much easier to handle.
Hereโs how to ask for feedback in a way thatโs helpful and stress-free.
How to Ask for Feedback (And Actually Get Useful Answers)
- Be Specific
Vague questions lead to vague answers. Instead of โAny feedback?โ try โHow did I handle the project deadline? What could I improve?โ - Time It Right
Ask for feedback right after a project or key milestone. For example, โIโm finalising this reportโdo you have any thoughts before I submit?โ - State Your Intention
Keep it positive and frame feedback as part of your growth. You could say, โIโm focused on improving my communication. What did I do well, and where can I get better?โ - Make It Collaborative
Feedback isnโt just for youโitโs for your whole teamโs benefit. Show that you see the bigger picture by asking โTo help the team improve, Iโd love your input on how I handled [specific task].โ - Ask Often
Donโt wait for formal reviews. Regular check-ins make feedback feel less daunting and more natural over time. For example, “I’m working on improving how I lead team meetings. Could we check in regularly to see how I’m doing and where I can improve? - Show Gratitude
Giving feedback takes time and effort, and itโs not always easy. A simple thank you goes a long way. It’s as easy as, โThanks for your input, I really appreciate you supporting me to grow in my roleโ.
Why Asking Makes a Difference
When you actively seek out feedback, you take control of the narrative. Instead of passively waiting for someone to point out your flaws, youโre showing that you value growth and are committed to continuous improvement. It also reduces the anxiety that comes with unsolicited feedbackโyouโre not caught off guard when youโre the one asking.
More importantly, it encourages others to be honest. When people know youโre open to feedback, theyโre more likely to offer genuine insights rather than sugarcoat their words.
Final Thoughts
The takeaway is simple: Feedback doesnโt have to be something you dread. By flipping the script and actively seeking it out, you can turn feedback into a powerful tool for growth. Youโll not only reduce your stress but also gain insights that help you grow personally and professionally.
Plus, the more you seek it, the more confident you’ll become.
So, howโs your feedback game? Ready to ask for feedback like a pro?
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